what i’ve learned from leading bible study with women: 10 things that keep showing up
When I first said yes to helping lead a women’s Bible study, I thought I’d just be sitting in the back, maybe offering to bring snacks or fold the handouts. I didn’t imagine I’d end up praying out loud or answering questions I didn’t feel ready for.
But here I am, a year and a half later... still sitting at that table, still learning right alongside everyone else.
Leading didn’t make me feel wiser — it just made me more aware of how much we’re all carrying. And over time, I’ve noticed things. Little patterns. Honest aches. Moments that repeat themselves, no matter who’s in the room.
So here are ten things I keep seeing... and feeling... every time we gather around the Word.
1. most of us think we’re not “spiritual enough”
I can’t tell you how many women, right before they open their Bibles, say something like, “I’m not very good at this,” or “I don’t know as much as I should.”
One woman — a faithful, kind, deeply generous woman — said she didn’t feel “churchy enough” to lead a prayer. And I remember thinking, if she’s not enough, then none of us are.
This feeling of not being "spiritual enough"... it’s everywhere. But I think God delights in women who come anyway, who open the Word even when they’re unsure. That’s faith.
2. we carry guilt for not reading more
There’s this quiet heaviness that comes out when we talk about Scripture habits. Someone always admits, “I meant to read this week... I just didn’t get around to it.”
And then the apologies start, like they’ve failed a test.
I’ve started saying this out loud, just to clear the air: You’re not behind. There’s no prize for speed-reading the Bible. Just come as you are, and start again.
One of the women brought her Bible with food stains in the margins and a crayon mark from her toddler. She said, “It’s messy, but it’s mine.” I told her — that’s probably God’s favorite kind.
3. we think our questions disqualify us
I remember one evening, a woman closed her Bible and said, “I know I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t understand any of that chapter.”
The room got quiet.
And then someone else whispered, “I didn’t either.”
I’ve learned this: questions are not weakness. They’re evidence of engagement. They’re a sign that the Spirit is stirring. Some of the most powerful conversations we’ve had started with someone saying, “I don’t get it.”
4. stories from the bible hit different when life hits hard
I’ve read about Hannah my whole life. But she became something else entirely after I sat across from a woman who’d been praying for a child for ten years.
That night, when we read Hannah’s prayer in 1 Samuel, nobody said a word for a long time. Just soft sniffles, and one woman reaching across the table to hold another’s hand.
Scripture becomes personal when your story starts to echo theirs.
5. silence in the room is not failure
In the early days, I used to panic when nobody responded right away. I’d start rambling to fill the space. But now I know... sometimes silence is sacred.
Sometimes it means something is settling in. Sometimes someone is fighting tears. Sometimes we’re all just letting it land.
And that’s okay.
6. we compare more than we admit
I see it in the eyes. The way one woman lowers her voice after someone else prays more “eloquently.” Or how someone folds their notes quickly when they hear a more organized thought shared.
We don’t mean to do it, but we do.
I try to say it out loud: God’s not looking for the most poetic voice in the room. He’s looking for honesty. And He hears the quietest prayers just as clearly.
7. women carry so much, and it shows up in the circle
You can feel it. The tension in the shoulders, the distracted eyes. Sometimes someone will share a simple verse and suddenly someone else is crying.
Not because the verse is dramatic, but because life is.
Grief. Divorce. Worry. Loneliness. All of it walks into the room with us. Bible study doesn’t erase it. But it gives us space to lay it down for a minute.
8. we don’t want to be fixed — we want to be heard
One woman once shared something really painful. And before anyone could rush in with a verse or a solution, someone else just looked at her and said, “That’s a lot. I’m really sorry you’re carrying that.”
It was the kindest thing.
We don’t need someone to tie it all up with a bow. Sometimes we just need someone to sit beside us in the middle of the mess.
9. the quietest voice in the room often says the most powerful thing
There’s a woman in our group who hardly ever speaks. But when she does... it’s like everyone leans in without even realizing it.
She once said, “I think Jesus waited before healing Lazarus so Mary and Martha would know He heard them cry.”
We were all quiet after that. She didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night. She didn’t need to.
10. everyone just wants to know they’re not alone
In doubt. In fear. In the strange silence of unanswered prayer.
We open the Bible because we want to find God... but we also open it because we want to find each other.
And when we do — when a verse lands just right, or someone nods in understanding, or we all laugh because we can’t pronounce a name in Deuteronomy — that’s when it feels like the Spirit is in the room.
Bible study is not always tidy. It’s not always deep or impressive. But it’s real.
And more than anything... it’s holy ground. Not because we’re experts, but because we keep showing up. We bring our questions, our stories, our silent prayers... and somehow, God meets us right there in the middle of it.
If you’ve ever felt unsure, unqualified, or unseen in a Bible study circle — you’re not alone. And maybe that’s the most important thing I’ve learned.
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